I failed this week. I missed something obvious. I should have known better and it is driving me nuts. I've been tossing and turning at night trying to justify my failure to myself, because if I did in fact fail, it would mean that I'm not perfect!
I have and will continue to struggle with the faulty idea that my value is based on performance.
I'm sure many of you struggle with this as well. We are constantly bombarded with the lie that what we do or accomplish is directly correlated with our intrinsic value. We strive to achieve, and dedicate ourselves to obtaining total control of our lives in order to appear valuable to others. If we fail, we (or at least I) tend to think that we are useless, a failure, or unworthy of love. This is a toxic lie! Let us unpack this a bit:
First off, perfectionism is ridiculous. (I'm allowed to say this since I'm a recovering perfectionist) Not only is it ridiculous, but it is sin. I am not God. Only God is perfect. If He is perfect, and I am not God, I cannot be perfect. To attempt to be perfect on my own power is essentially to claim that I am my own god, and that I do not need the God of the Universe in my life. This was the seduction leading to the fall of Adam in the garden of Eden - the original sin. "You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman. "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." (Genesis 3:4-5) The idea that we can be like God, or be God, puts us in the driver's seat when we don't have a license!
Second of all, performance has absolutely no bearing on our intrinsic value.
God says: "I have loved you with an everlasting love. Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine . . . You are precious to me. You are honored and I love you." (From Is 43 and Jer 31) God said this about Israel during a time when they had failed miserably to obey Him. If God, who is perfect, can love us completely when we have accomplished nothing worthwhile, then we must be intrinsically worthwhile!
The Bible continually reminds us that who we are has nothing to do with what we do. Some of my favorite stories illustrate this beautifully: The adulteress caught in the act, the Samaritan women at the well, the thief on the cross, the tax collector turned disciple, the demon possessed man healed, the blind, crippled, and broken that Jesus healed just as they were (they didn't have to do rehab or clean themselves up first). Jesus demonstrated His love for these people as he forgave, healed, and called them friends. He demonstrated His love for all time, when He died a brutal death on a cross to take our punishment for the sins we hadn't even committed yet. We all fall short of perfection, but God died for us anyway - once and for all stating that He loves us just as we are.
So, for brain training purposes - I will choose the above verse or stories and think about them every time I begin to focus on my failures. My value is based on the fact the I am a unique creation. I am a child of the King. I am God's beloved. I will meditate on these things frequently to slowly alter my thought life and perception of reality. To speed up the process, as often as possible this next week, I will combine these thoughts with my mobility work or exercise sessions to cement in the good neural pathways!
"I have loved you with an everlasting love. Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine . . . You are precious to me. You are honored and I love you."
5 comments:
Courtney,
Answer this question:
Taking all things into account, is your body doing the absolute best it can do?
which leads to the conclusion:
Then you are doing the best you can do.
You have always done the best you could have.
You will always do the best you can.
The same applies to everyone else.
From what you know of Z,
you know that your best
is getting better all the time.
Dualism regarding the body and soul can seem to contradict this concept. Dualism is another conversation entirely.
This belief system has been helpful to me with my "failures" in life. Give it a test drive.
Good stuff Frankie! It certainly has been interesting to see my mind change along with my body and vice versa! I'll keep your ideas in mind.
:)
Courtney,
Very interesting post. I would like to offer another way to look at your week-how often do you ask yourself "How many successes did I have this past week?
Life is all about the glass being either half empty or half full, and how you view this will, to a large extent, determine how you view yourself and your accomplishments.
I want to share 3 quotes from Thomas Edison that I find particularly inspiring and fitting to this post....
“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”
Remember, success is impossible without failure. They are both tied together to some extent, and you cannot experience success without at some point and time experiencing the other.
Happy brain training!
Hey G!
Great thoughts there as well - I have actually started to implement that into my weekly reflections. I am now making a list of my successes and strengths. It has been a huge shift for me just to realize that I can fail and survive! Now to take a failure and use it for positive gain is where I'm headed!
Courtney,
Here is a very inspirational video made by a basketball player you may or may not have heard of. When I watched this, I thought to myself, how funny that everyone I know views him as one of the most successful basketball players of all time, yet he is mortal and has bad days like everone else. I guess it is what you do with those bad days that differentiates him from the majority of other people who give up and quit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45mMioJ5szc
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