More on Worth

To continue a bit with the last post, I want to turn it on it's head. Worth has nothing to do with failure, but it also has nothing to do with success. We as human beings are intrinsically valuable simply because we are. Christ died for the rich successful people also! Accomplishment does not change one's inherent value any more than failure alters one's inherent value. Falling down and getting up again is a part of life. Those that keep getting up tend to succeed in this life, but are not more valuable as humans than those who are stuck face down in the mud!

As I continue to replace my old thought patterns of worth = performance, I am becoming more free to decide how I want to be rather that what I want to be. I made a list yesterday. (Again keeping in mind that my worth is already established by the Creator of the Universe - not by my little list!) Anyway, it contains the things I am good at, the things I want to do in life, and how I want to be. I'm excited about it. I can now look forward instead of backward. I will fail. I will get up. I will never ever ever give up. 'Course, I may need a good kick in the pants occasionally, or someone to help drag me up when I'm really stuck - but that is why God made us relational beings and hooked me with some awesome people!

"Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Phil 3:13-14

Brain Training: Worth

I failed this week. I missed something obvious. I should have known better and it is driving me nuts. I've been tossing and turning at night trying to justify my failure to myself, because if I did in fact fail, it would mean that I'm not perfect!

I have and will continue to struggle with the faulty idea that my value is based on performance.
I'm sure many of you struggle with this as well. We are constantly bombarded with the lie that what we do or accomplish is directly correlated with our intrinsic value. We strive to achieve, and dedicate ourselves to obtaining total control of our lives in order to appear valuable to others. If we fail, we (or at least I) tend to think that we are useless, a failure, or unworthy of love. This is a toxic lie! Let us unpack this a bit:

First off, perfectionism is ridiculous. (I'm allowed to say this since I'm a recovering perfectionist) Not only is it ridiculous, but it is sin. I am not God. Only God is perfect. If He is perfect, and I am not God, I cannot be perfect. To attempt to be perfect on my own power is essentially to claim that I am my own god, and that I do not need the God of the Universe in my life. This was the seduction leading to the fall of Adam in the garden of Eden - the original sin. "You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman. "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." (Genesis 3:4-5) The idea that we can be like God, or be God, puts us in the driver's seat when we don't have a license!

Second of all, performance has absolutely no bearing on our intrinsic value.
God says: "I have loved you with an everlasting love. Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine . . . You are precious to me. You are honored and I love you." (From Is 43 and Jer 31) God said this about Israel during a time when they had failed miserably to obey Him. If God, who is perfect, can love us completely when we have accomplished nothing worthwhile, then we must be intrinsically worthwhile!

The Bible continually reminds us that who we are has nothing to do with what we do. Some of my favorite stories illustrate this beautifully: The adulteress caught in the act, the Samaritan women at the well, the thief on the cross, the tax collector turned disciple, the demon possessed man healed, the blind, crippled, and broken that Jesus healed just as they were (they didn't have to do rehab or clean themselves up first). Jesus demonstrated His love for these people as he forgave, healed, and called them friends. He demonstrated His love for all time, when He died a brutal death on a cross to take our punishment for the sins we hadn't even committed yet. We all fall short of perfection, but God died for us anyway - once and for all stating that He loves us just as we are.

So, for brain training purposes - I will choose the above verse or stories and think about them every time I begin to focus on my failures. My value is based on the fact the I am a unique creation. I am a child of the King. I am God's beloved. I will meditate on these things frequently to slowly alter my thought life and perception of reality. To speed up the process, as often as possible this next week, I will combine these thoughts with my mobility work or exercise sessions to cement in the good neural pathways!

"I have loved you with an everlasting love. Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine . . . You are precious to me. You are honored and I love you."

On Faith and New Beginnings

I love this time of year. Spring is bursting forth in all her glory, bringing with her the sweet scent of hope and new life.

I was on the pity pot last week - fighting the same battles and trying to crawl out of the same pit . . . again! Thankfully, Geoff reminded me that this is where the rubber meets the road in terms of faith. How blessed we are to have our faith tried and tested, because it is only then that we can know what our faith is made of. As James 1 says "2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

I have to admit I was not all that joyful. But today . . . today is Easter Sunday. The ultimate celebration of new life and new beginnings. The ultimate source of hope and the foundation of our faith. A story that is so elegantly echoed every spring, as the flowers burst from the ground, and buds blossom on "dead" branches. It is an echo of the story of our risen Lord, who came, died, and rose again, so that we may have life, and be with Him for eternity. The Lord says in Isaiah 43: " 19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."

I must again choose to believe. I must again place my trust in "Him who cares for me" I'm getting my reps in - allowing my faith muscles to keep growing.

Today I am glad. I am thankful that God has reminded me again of new life through the celebration of Easter and a beautiful spring day. Today I am victorious. I will press on in renewed strength to fight the battles that await me another day - even if it is the same battle . . again.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"
2 Cor 5:17

S phase Update

Back from an amazing week in Phoenix completing the S phase certification with Z health. It was an awesome opportunity to hang out with some great like-minded folks, learn a lot, move a lot, and just have fun. For those of you not familiar with Z health, a quick explanation is that it is a multi-dimensional system designed to achieve rapid changes in performance and health by driving neural change. S phase is primarily about sports performance.

We learned a lot about the visual system and processing, and how that relates to movement/health/performance and even cognitive function. Vision is much more than just acuity! For example, if the eyes do not team correctly, or if the images from the eyes are confusing, it places a constant stress on the nervous system as it tries to compensate. This can create significant alterations in motor processing, movement, and behavior. From a biomechanical aspect, eye motion has a direct impact on the dural layers (connective tissue) which surround the brain and spinal cord. A lack of eye motion in general or in certain body positions can affect joint motion and neural tension adversely. Pretty amazing stuff!

In addition to the visual fun, we learned the ABCs of sports specific movement. It amazes me that with our societal obsession with sports our kids are never taught how to move to perform these sports safely.

Throughout the week, I discovered that I had some significant difficulties with processing visual information, especially with respect to articulating visual information. During my session with Dr. Cobb, we discovered that I had difficulty tracking darker colors (green, blue etc). After working a bit on color specific visual drills, my other processing problems and residual joint stiffness improved significantly. Amazing! I'm wondering how my brain training will be affected by some of this stuff as well - it will certainly be something to experiment with!

I plan to post more on my brain training thoughts soon.

Quick Update

Well, I'm off to S phase (Level 3 Z health certification) tomorrow AM. I haven't had much time to update the blog lately so I plan to do so when I return. I'm really looking forward to seeing how my body and mind respond to the training next week! It should be a lot of really good neural chunking! Woo hoo!

Roller Coasters

Do you ever feel like you're on a roller coaster? I do. My particular ride is the kind where you go straight up so high you forget that there is down, and then it spirals down down down before it takes off again for the top.

So the question is: Does one try to fight the twists and turns, accept them, or succumb to them? If there were no ups and downs I suppose life would be incredibly boring. If you try to fight the spirals you become exhausted with the futility. You can't stop the ride because only God has the brakes. If you succumb, you flop around in your seat like a rag doll and sustain a head injury. So that leaves acceptance.

My current definition of acceptance in relation to life's twists and turns and ups and downs is to allow myself to completely experience the ride while keeping an eye on the Controller of the ride. To me, this means that it is O.K. to really experience all the emotions of the moment by acknowledging them, feeling the hurt or elation, and then turning them over to the One who holds me in the palm of His hand. This entails reminding myself of the truth again and again in the midst of emotional turmoil - something that has been getting much easier the more I practice it. This also means less time wallowing in tar pits and one more step in the direction of experiencing the fullness of life!

Goodbye to the Tin Man

This has been an interesting couple weeks. I have again been overwhelmed by the love and support from the people in my life.

Last week I had the flu. I haven't been that sick in a while, and it hit me hard (in addition to some emotional struggles I was dealing with at the same time). I was laying there feeling sorry for myself, and I prayed that God would show himself real to me in a big way, 'cause I just wasn't feeling His presence or concern. That day I received a phone call from someone I haven't talked to in a while and boy did that hit the spot. She spoke some truth into my life, and I was overwhelmed by her care, concern, love, and encouragement. Over the next few days I continued to receive unsolicited phone calls and emails from people encouraging me and offering their love and support. It was really cool because I'm usually pretty reclusive and don't have that much contact with people. I was truly overwhelmed with the thought that these folks really do care about me, and this experience has continued to change my heart.

Today I feel different. Geoff noticed it last night - he said I looked different but couldn't put his finger on what it was. I think I know what it is. I got my heart back. Today my heart isn't numb - it is alive and filled with love for the first time in a very long time. I am beginning to see Ezekial 36:26 come to pass in my life: "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."

So I have to say a huge thank you to everyone - you have been used by God in a very real way, and I am eternally grateful for your support and love. What's also fun for me is the realization that now I can pass it on. As 2 Cor 1:3-4 says: "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."

Goodbye Tin Man!