This blog is about our story - yours and mine. It is about the question we all ask at one time or another: "Who am I , and what is my purpose in life." This year has been about this question. It is the first time in my life I have really stopped long enough to ponder this. I don't have all the answers yet, but I'm glad I'm asking the question, because I am now on a journey that is exciting and a little bit scary. It is the road to becoming me - the real me - the me I was created to be!
My "shift" began around March of 2007, and was sparked by a combination of physical and emotional changes through Z health, a women's retreat, and a business cruise. I'm not sure I can explain what happened, but through these avenues, I was exposed to a new way of thinking about myself and life in general. I began to realize that I have been living my life out of fear. The fear of failing to live up to expectations, the fear that someday I would be discovered as a fraud. Through my interactions with some great people during this time period, I began to see that I was in fact valuable and worthwhile just because I am - not for what I do. During the women's retreat we talked a lot about our true identity in Christ. The fact that I am loved by an almighty God who paid the ultimate price to have relationship with me, and the fact that heaven and hell are literally at war over my life and heart is something that I knew intellectually, but never actually understood on a heart level. I am now finally beginning to understand that as a woman, I reflect the glory of God. I am worth something because the Creator of the universe thinks I'm worthy of His love. That he created me in His image means that in some way, I reflect His beauty, creativity, intellect, compassion . . . And the most exciting thing is that He invites me (us) to play a part in His story. So this is where I am now - Finally beginning to understand my worth as a woman/human, and now working to discover how to live out the role/purpose I have been designed for. I am called to a deeper reality, a more abundant life. I am called to live with joyful abandon and rest in the hands of my Creator. The question now is how!
5 comments:
Thank you Court for sharing. It was a pleasure to read, and from the outside looking in it has been a pleasure to observe the process. You are a beautiful woman, and as time goes on it will be my continued joy to watch the journey.
Thanks Kathy!
As always I am so thankful for your support and encouragement. I wouldn't have made it this far without "a little help from my friends . . " Look forward to continuing the process!
Wow! My "silly little sister" has grown up into an intelligent, articulate, vulnerable, strong, Godly and BEAUTIFUL woman! Thanks so much for sharing your journey and heart. I know you knew all this since childhood, but it's cool how God uses various things in life, explicitly "Christian" or not, to move that knowledge from the head down to the heart. I look forward to the next posts! I wish we lived closer so I could see more of your journey first hand and play a greater part in it. I love you!
Courtney,
Great first post. It's a real blessing that our lives have crossed paths and that we've gotten to share parts of our journeys together. I look forward to reading your posts in the future.
Keep up the great work and know that you are always loved!
Wow- thanks for the comments!
Nicole -
Weird isn't it? We've come a long way from throwing sand in each other's hair! LOL I look forward to the time when we can share life a bit more frequently in person!
Katie -
It has been my distinct pleasure to watch you continue to grow through your own journey. I'm glad I have been able to be a part of it.
It is my hope that the sharing of some of my thoughts and struggles will help all of us continue to "press on" to become the people God has called us to be. I hope to be as much of a blessing to you as you all are to me.
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