Singing in the dark

This post may be a little gritty. I hesitate to bring this subject up so early in my blogging history. However, I feel compelled to speak of suffering, since it is a part of life and we all experience it. My recent experiences have again bridged the gap between intellectual knowledge and heart knowledge. I will not pretend that my trials are all that weighty or profound compared to the troubles of others, but regardless, pain is not fun.

Have you ever been in the grip of despair? When the lights go out and you feel all alone in the dark without hope? I have. Most of us have. I have been to the point of despairing of my very life. I have groaned in the anguish of my soul until it literally felt like my guts were coming out, and the only response was . . . silence. I have experienced, to some degree, the night of the human soul. And when you are in the midst of it, the night feels as though it will never end.

But it is in this night, this "training circle," that you are tried and tested. Your character becomes forged like steel. Through the pain you are shaped into you - somehow, someway, good comes from evil, and joy comes from despair. God does have a plan, and His plan is good. How often we forget that we are at war! There is a battle going on for our hearts and there will be collateral damage (or the occasional direct hit). We may not ever know how our story will evolve, but we can be sure of the ending. To quote Leigh from Ransomed Heart ministries: "Will you love God even though you don't understand your story? Will you trust Him when everything has been taken away? In the end, is He enough? The world is dark and getting darker. The world is in desperate need of deliverers who are forged in the fires of suffering. It is the enemy's attack that forges the deliverer. God is shaping you through suffering so that you can turn around and destroy the enemy."

During my "night" I thought God had abandoned me. But then, when I thought all hope was gone, He brought some very special people into my life. He demonstrated his love and steadfastness through them in a very tangible way. Because of this, I have learned (in a small way) to be thankful for my "thorn." My trial has not yet ended, but the inky blackness is steadily giving way to light. I am now better equipped to "comfort as I have been comforted" (2 Cor 1:4) I do not yet know how my trial will shape my story, or how long it will persist. But I will choose to trust that God's heart is good, and that He knows even if I don't. If you are in a similar place in your life, hold on. Hold fast, help is on the way. The night will end. Dawn will come. In the meantime, will you trust Him?

What if, when the night falls, we thumb our noses at the enemy and sing in the dark? The following songs may help. They have helped me more than I can say.

Josh Groban: "Don't Give Up (You are loved)"


Casting Crowns: "Praise You in this Storm"


Mercy Me: "Hold Fast"